Wednesday, April 26, 2017

An explanation of absence...

Her absence is like the sky, 
             spread over everything...
                     C. S. Lewis





Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

We have lost our beautiful Alicia....
The greatest mysteries in life have now been revealed to our beautiful daughter in law.
She fought stronger than the bravest of warriors for over 4 years. Never once complaining.. always with only one focus in her heart....To live for her girls and for her husband. In these past few days she gave her absolute all in hopes that she could live just a tiny bit longer for her babies. Not once did her faith in God ever waiver. She lived only to do His will and to be a Mother and a Wife.

God had other plans. We are so sad and we are trying so hard to accept and understand the "why" of it all. Our babies are only 4 and 6... (almost 7.) We will need the strength of a multitude of prayers in these days ahead. Our only focus is to be strong for our precious girls and for my son.

I am so very proud of my son. He has been an amazing husband and father during this most difficult time... giving his absolute all to his babies and to Alicia. Days and days and days of staying at the hospital all night and all day, and then going back and forth to help with homework and putting the girls to bed at night. Always leading them in bedtime prayers and reading their Bible stories to them. Alicia would be so proud.. they both have raised their girls to be close to God.

We are beyond exhausted and emotionally spent. There are no words to describe the hell that we have been through these past weeks and months.
Please just whisper a gentle prayer for my son and our beautiful granddaughters. I know that God will send sunshine into our life again.. but right now it is the darkest of days.

Fly high our beautiful Alicia... like Peter Pan you will be forever young. You will live in our hearts forever and we will never let your babies forget you💕


To my precious blog friends...
I know I've been gone a long time. I've been spending almost every minute helping my son and daughter in law with our precious granddaughters. Sadly, I've had not one extra minute for my blog. Not one..

I promise that I am coming back to you.. 
 but I'm going to need some time..💕

xoxo
Vicki
 

71 comments:

Priscilla said...

So sorry for your loss.

SofiaD said...

My heart goes out to you. You're right, there are no words, but please know this reader sends you and your family prayers and good thoughts for healing. May her memory be eternal. <3

NanaDiana said...

Oh, Vicki. I am reading this with tears streaming down my face. FOUR YEARS!!! That means she was ill since the youngest baby was born. OMGOSH--the pain...the awful, awful heart-wrenching pain of losing a mom, a wife, a daughter, a daughter-in-law. My heart aches for all of you--especially for your son and the babies left behind.

I am praying for all of you. Please let me know if you would like me to put a prayer request up on my blog--with a link to your blog.

I am so so sorry- I know those are such inadequate words but sometimes there just are no words. God bless you--Diana

Magpie's Mumblings said...

Sometimes there just are no words - just prayers and trust that God knows the greater plan. Bless you and your family as you go through this difficult time.

Quinn said...

Oh Vicki - my heart goes out to you and your family. Faith is such a powerful gift, and it sounds like you all have a faith that will help you along day to day even when things seem darkest. I don't have many words but please know you will all be in my thoughts. Many hugs.

Janice Phelps Williams said...

Dear Vicki, this is a crushing loss to your whole family and it is so difficult to know what to say. Love. Peace. Acceptance. May each day hold all that you need until joy tiptoes back into your life again. It will take time. A lot of time. It will be bittersweet. It will be precious. Much love from our family to yours.

Take the time you need to grieve. We will all be here when you return.

Lulu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
debbie said...

Vicki, I'm so sorry for your loss .. prayers sent to you and your family.. Debbie Kos

Joyful said...

Heartfelt condolences dear Vicky. It is indeed the darkest of days when we lose our loved ones. Big hugs to you and your family and prayers to our Heavenly Father. May He hold you ever so tight and those precious little ones. xx

Marlynne said...

God Bless You and Yours with Peace, Rest, Health and Acceptance and the Will to Go Forth. Amen & Amen

Kimberly said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, especially after such a journey for her. I wish your family peace

Helen Campbell said...

I'm so very sorry to hear about the loss of Alicia. Do not worry at all about your blog. It's important that you take the time to be with your son and the babies. Wrapping you and your family in loving prayers. <3

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

I am so sorry for your loss and pain. I remember that you hinted that something ominious was going on in your life and times were difficult. Bless your family and may the strength that your daughter-in-law showed be an inspiration to you all and guide you through this most difficult time.
Arleen

Catherine said...

Oh Vicki, this must have been such a difficult, heart rending time for you all and will be for a long time to come. Alicia has gone far too young. I know you will be strong to support your family but be kind to yourself too. You have been missed with your blog but it comes so far down in the list of priorities. You and your family will be in my prayers.

Catherine said...

PS. I was thinking about you the other day when I showed my beautiful nest to my granddaughter. Hugs x

busybusybeejay said...

HOw very sad.My brother's wife died aged 32.Their children were 9,6 and 4.They are all grown up now with families of their own but their Mum will never be forgotten.I am sure your faith is helping you at this tragic time.I shall be thinking about you and your family in these dark days.

Julie said...

Such sad news to read Vicki. My thoughts and prayers are with you all at this emotional time. {{BIG HUGS}} xxxx

Lorraine said...

Oh Vicki, so sorry for your family's loss. My heart aches for all of you. How strong you've all been for so long. I pray that the strength will continue as you all heal.

Klik said...

Oh my God.... I'm so sorry.

Tanna said...

I am so very, very, very sorry for your loss. I will lift your family in prayer, Vicki. May God hold each of you close in this difficult time. blessings and hugs ~ tanna

Sue Kosec said...

Take all the time you need. Anybody that has experienced a loss of a loved one understands your absence. It takes time. As the card says ... "there are no words!!!!!"

I love you!
SuZeQ

Ariadne said...

Sending my warmest wishes and sympathies to your family!What a sad thing to happen to a young person and such a waste indeed. Be strong to assist your son, your grandchildren and Alicia's parents and siblings as well. AriadnefromGreece!

Julia said...

Dear Vicki, I'm so very sorry about your lost. I know words cannot not change anything but know my heart is breaking for you and your family. I can understand your absence from blogger.
I lost my oldest daughter Nicole last October after a brief illness and not a day goes by that I don't think about her and I miss her so so much. I'll keep you all in my prayers. Sending prayers for courage strength.
Hugs, Julia

Silke Powers said...

Oh, Vicki, I can feel your heartache! There truly are no words and I so feel for you, your son and your grandbabies! They are so lucky to have all of you in their lives to help them remember their mom and to care for them! I am sending all my love and strength your way!

thecrazysheeplady said...

{{{hug}}}

kathyinozarks said...

Oh No so so sorry for your great loss. Prayers for all of you
Please take all the time you need (no need to reply as that takes time away from your family)
Hugs and prayers
Kathy

Carole @ From My Carolina Home said...

Take care of yourself now, you need time to heal and be with your family. Don't worry, we will all be here when you can come back. Hugs to you!!

Dorthe said...

My dearest Vicki,
You are still in my thoughts every day, and I know it takes time, to leave just some of this pain you feel, behind. I know you have done, and will do ,all you can for your grandbabies and your son, now, and that time is so much more important used with them, than here on your blog. We will be here whenever you return dear friend.
In the meantime, let the sun and love between you all, comfort you, and them. You need to take one day at a time, to be filled up again.
Sending you love.
Dorthe

allthingzsewn said...

So sorry for you loss, May God fill you all with his peace that you may feel the warmth of his arms around you while hearing the whispers of his love.

gracie said...

Your place is with the family. I send hugs to you and all, especially the children. I am sure they will thrive with your presence.

Villa-loredana said...

With love..
Sincerely Loredana.

Andrea Ostapovitch said...

Oh Dearest Vicki,

I have been wondering about you. You have been in my thoughts. I am so very sorry to hear of this terrible loss to your family. I can't imagine your pain.
I will continue to keep you and your husband, your son and sweet grandbabies in my thoughts and prayers.
Wrapping you in loving hugs,
Andrea

Miaismine said...

I'm so sorry for your loss! May you all know the comfort, peace, strength and wisdom from our Father! Blessings to you all!

Anne's Attic - Design said...

Dearest Vicki, how I sympathize with your loss. You are so strong and good and because of that you are there helping like a guarding angel. You take all the time that you need to help and take care of your own. May God bless you and your sweet ones ad I will keep you all in my prayers. Know that you are a loved one among the blogging community.
xoxo Jo

Sue said...

Sending love and praying for you all, as well as crying at your loss. So very, very hard for you all but love will slowly help one day at a time and your love for your family is strong. Her love for you all with live on in your hearts and she will always be a part of your lives.

Lesley UK said...

I'm so sorry. May you be blessed with comfort, love and peace

Lady of the Manor said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Please know I'll be lifting you all in my prayers. I'll also be praying for the beautiful soul of your daughter-in-law. Zenda

Fil said...

Oh my ... I am so sorry for your loss - my heart is with you all - sending you blessings across the sea at this terribly difficult time. Fil

Nancy Marino said...

Dear Vicki and family, I too am sorry for you loss. My daddy (lived with us) and passed away tthe he day after father's day 1 year ago. 6 weeks later my half sister passed. Being beyond exhausted I prayed night and day for the Lord's peace and timing. In October we had hurricane Matthew and my sister entered her 17th year fighting oral cancer which is taking a devastating toll. Right after my dad passed a Christian friend shared her cancer diagnosis. She passed only months later on Feb 28th. What you don't know is what an inspiration your lovely nests were to me. When I set out on a strict healing regiment to lose weight I had gained and seeking the Lord's peace, I would spend hours looking at your birds nests among others- even thou I had been making them for years. When our Miss Suzy lost her squirrel's nest from the palm tree in the back yard I scooped it up and put it on a table on the lanai until I was sure it was bug free. It now has a place of honor on the great room table. I also began a mission project expanding on an idea for a prayer cloth I had made my dad while he was in the hospital. We will all be praying for you and yours. Thank you for sharing with so many of us. Love, peace and the Lord's blessings. Nancy

Petite Michelle Louise said...

I am so very, very sorry for your loss. I will keep You and your family in my prayers. God bless

Denise said...

So sorry for your loss. Take all the time you need to heal you and your family.

~ Dixie said...

I am so very sorry for you and your families loss. Sending thoughts of comfort to all of you...

~ Dixie said...

So very sorry for you and your families loss. Sending thoughts of comfort to all of you...

Seawashed said...

Vicki my heart aches for you. How beautiful this post is. There is beauty in brokenness, heartache and loss. I will be whispering prayers for you and loved family. Continue to take the time needed to grieve and mourn this deep loss. Maybe even go for a weekend to the Monastery. I know how much you love it there. This is such a fragile time. I send you gentle love sweet soul friend. x Kerrie

gigi knits said...

I Cry as I read this for I know how your heart is breaking . Time will past but there will always be that missing piece of your heart.
You know you have been in my thoughts & prayers.
On May 20th I will be walking in the Susan B Komen walk in Syracuse an as fate will have it will be on my sweet Fonda's birthday .so this year as I walk I will be thinking of another Angel in Heaven .��

Anonymous said...

So sorry and sad.
Nancy Carr

Wandering Wren said...

With much love to you and your family at this terrible time. May that glimpse of sunshine reappear when you are ready to receive it and in the meantime may you feel the warm of love from your blogging community, in these darkest of days.
Wren x

Low Tide High Style said...

Vicki, there truly are no words for such an overwhelming loss! Thinking of you all during this sad and difficult time.

xo Kat

Eugenia Maru http://lulurulitos.blogspot.com said...

Sorry Vicky, you now have an angel in heaven who will watch over your children and for everyone.
A hug

Tammy@T's Daily Treasures said...

Dear Vicki, I know your heart is breaking. I'm so sorry for your loss. For your son and those sweet girls. May you all find peace and comfort. Blessings of strength with each passing day. Lots of love and big hugs, Tammy

Karen B. said...

My dearest Vicki,
you and your family are in my heart, prayers and thoughts.

I hug you.
Karen B. ~ Todolwen

Kim said...

My heartfelt thoughts and prayers are sent to you, Vicki, in these darkest of dark times. May God wrap you, your husband, your son and your sweet, sweet grandchildren up in His arms of love and comfort.

Josephine Namujumbi said...

So very sorry Vicki for the loss of your daughter in law! I cry as I write this because i can see the pain you are going through right now, my deepest sympathy to you, husband, son and the lil gals. Take confort in the Lord for His the one who gives and takes away. My prayers are with you.

Michele said...

Dear Vicki,

I cannot fathom what pain and grief you are experiencing right now. Please just know that there are prayers being said for you and your entire family. And that God is listening.

My deepest condolences to you all. I hope you find healing and strength in the love of friends, family - and even strangers - at this sad time of loss.

God bless you.

Michele from Finch Rest blog

Carol Slater said...

I sit here not knowing you or your family and yet, I am in tears as I read of the loss of your daughter in law. Those precious babies must know that mommy is no longer with them but they can't understand. How awful that she was sick the entire time the younger one was alive. I pray that before the sickness was too bad that she got to spend some fantastic moments with that beautiful child. I know that your son and your family will never let those girls forget. God bless each of you!

Kay G. said...

Prayers for you and for all the family. Peace of the Lord be with you always.

NanaNor's said...

Vicki, I just came over from Diana's where she asked for prayer for your son, granddaughters and family. I'm so sorry for your loss; breast cancer can be so awful on a young woman-actually on any woman. Praying His strength, peace, mercy cover you all in the coming days.
Hugs,
Noreen

Simply LKJ said...

I am glad Diana shared your loss with us. Will be lifting your precious family up in prayer in the days ahead.

Debby Ray said...

Hi Vicki... I as well have just read this post on Diana's blog. I am new to your blog but just wanted to send my prayers to you and your family. Words just don't come freely at a time like this. May the Lord fill you all with His peace that passes all understanding.

Rose L said...

My heart is with you.

Down On The Farm said...

As many have said, there just are no words. This is one of those "many things about tomorrow I don't seem to understand." Why?? Only the Lord knows. But remember that we do NOT mourn as the heathens who have no hope. We KNOW that your beautiful daughter-in-law is with Jesus. Whole and healed. And your family will go on. It will be difficult, and there will be times you will want to give up. But you won't. Because HIS strength is made perfect in your weakness. He will carry you when you don't think you can take another step. My mother is in Houston Texas as I type this. She is at MD Anderson cancer center. She was diagnosed on July 29th, and it was as if my world ended. My mom had 70% of her liver removed on April 6th. She has been in and out of the hospital since then. We are PRAYING she gets released from the hospital today, and released to go home sometime this week. She has been in Houston since April 1st. So I can understand just a little bit of what you are going through. Your family is in my prayers. Rest in His holiness. Trust Him.

Cathy said...

Vicki, I am so sorry to hear this. Please accept my deepest and sincerest condolences. Prayers for continued strength for your son, you, and your entire family.
Cathy

Three Knits said...

Sorry to hear about your loss. Your post shows much strength in you and so must be your family in this time of grief. May god be with you all and RIP Alicia

Sandy said...

I lost my beloved husband of 46 years to cancer in 2014. I'm not sure this side of heaven if we will ever have an answer to the "whys" but like you, I know God is always with us and He feels our pain. My prayers are for you and your precious family during the coming days, weeks, months and even years. The feeling of loss never goes away but it does become bearable. Sometimes the only thing we can do is just keep living until we feel alive again. Peace and blessings to you Vicki and to your entire family. God bless you all.

Gail Griner Golden at Gail-Friends said...

My heart goes out to you and your family. My prayer is for you all to hold to the Good Shepherd's hand as you walk through this dark valley. He will comfort you and guide you. What a blessing that you and the little ones know Him.
Blessings and shalom to you all.

Debbie Walter said...

Hugs and prayers to you and your family. I am so sorry for your loss!

Lulu said...

very sad for you all..hugs and prayers

fromsophiesview said...

♫♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥¸¸.•*¨*•♫♫♪

may these musical notes and heart of love warm your world a little bit.......all my best to all of you and be strong

Fat Dormouse said...

May God hold your son, your granddaughters, you, and all your family in the palm of his hand.
This beautiful song is a cry of lament to God. Maybe it will help you: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfXwzMi1FxA

Weep with me,
Lord, will you weep with me?
I don’t need answers
All I need is to know you care for me
Hear my plea – are you even listening?...
I believe that you care, I love you Lord
You hear the cries of the oppressed and the heart-broken
Turn my lament into a love song, transform me
Turn my lament into an anthem, I need you now
Turn my lament into a love song, raise it up
Turn my lament into an anthem, yet I will praise you

Marguerite (Tina) Smith Hart said...

Sending prayers and hugs across the miles....Tina xo

FlowerLady Lorraine said...

Love, hugs and prayers for your family at this time.

FlowerLady